What’s in a name?
The women’s crisis center where I worked in college had a large, ornate bowl mounted to the wall in the living room. While I thought it was pretty at first sight, I did not think much of it until the first new family arrived while I was working. The director of the center, my first professional mentor, walked the mother and two children through the intake process and got them settled in. Once they had relaxed, eaten and met everyone, she brought me into the living room with them to go through what I would learn was her welcome ritual.
Seated underneath the bowl, she explained the significance of the piece to her work with families. She stated how there were many things in her life that were out of her influence and control—things she desperately wanted to change, condemn or eradicate and how she spent years trying to do just that. Regretfully, she wound up broke, burned out and bitter. Then, one morning while staring at her empty cereal bowl, depressed and not wanting to face the day, she had a life-changing realization.
She realized that she was futilely trying to change the world instead of trying to change her world. That is, she was ignoring and neglecting her circle of influence to try and make a greater mark on the world at large. From that day on, she woke up every morning and meditated about what she could do to “fill the bowl” in front of her. She focused on what she could “bring to the table” to make every interaction with families more compassionate, meaningful and productive. She strived to be present with families and meet them where they were, supporting them in their journey to a better tomorrow instead of projecting her hopes onto them. She sought to further her education so she would have the skills and the necessary tools available when needed to bring positive change to the families she served while encouraging strength and resilience in her colleagues. By making this commitment to herself and every individual that walked through the door of the center, she really did change her world and ours.
Sadly, my first mentor is no longer with us, but her approach to life and the lessons she taught me and others will carry on. Filling the Open Space, LLC is inspired by her message.
